


amidst the stardust

by cherryx



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Coma AU, M/M, Soulmates AU, Ten is there somewhere, most characters are there but not really, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 18:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16270181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryx/pseuds/cherryx
Summary: there’s an annoying ghost in mark’s room. it would be too bad if mark crushed on him, but he was never great at making decisions.





	amidst the stardust

**Author's Note:**

> _”Even the things we’ve left behind in places we can never return will surely be reborn to illuminate tomorrow. I met you amidst the stardust; I hope we’ll still feel the same when we meet again.”_  
>  for thay and ky ~♡~

 

⋆⋆⋆ 

renjun was never a reliable friend when it came to taking decisions. 

that being said, you better keep in mind that mark was never great at denying his friends anything. 

you see the pattern here?

so it’s no surprise to jeno and when his friends show up at his house in order to drag him to mark’s, because they have _important business_ to take care of.

“what kind of business?!”

“a supernatural one.”

jeno regrets befriending mark and renjun during that halloween party in high school.

 

⋆⋆⋆ 

 

“mark, where’s johnny?”

they’re sitting on the backyard, on the porch surrounded by aromatic candles and around a original ouija board. it’s a good night today, october always brings a good weather, but jeno would rather be inside his room. not invoking spirits.

“he’s at ten’s. his friends are all there today. he’ll sleep over there this whole weekend, probably.”

jeno stares at him as if he just grew two heads, “and you’re willing to do this shit? when you’re about to spend the whole weekend by yourself?”

mark shrugs, “well… renjun is the one who believes in this. i’m pretty sure there’s nothing to worry about.”

_ugh, these fucking dumbasses._

renjun is nonchalantly lightening up the candles, not even listening to them. while jeno is tense and mark is somewhere else, renjun is calm and composed. he’s used to these stuff, he grew up surrounded by people who contact the dead and jeno knows for a fact that the boy can even see them. what do you call someone like that? _oh, a medium_! that’s the fancy word to people who can see spirits, like that guy from _the sixth sense_. wait, that guy was dead all along. so, the _boy_ from the sixth sense? _shut up jeno!_

“why are you lightening aromatic candles and incenses?”, mark finally snaps out of his thoughts.

“my grandpa taught me that whenever you try to contact, you should create a good setting and feel comfortable, so you’ll only contact the good ones.”

“thank god.”

renjun smiles at jeno, “don’t worry, jeno. i wouldn’t put the two of you in danger!” jeno nods his head slowly, “now, shall we begin?”

“yes.”

they hold hands and pray together three times and then renjun takes the lead. with their index fingers touching the glass, they let renjun do the talking, both boys forgetting their doubts and focusing on the moment. jeno goes stone cold when the glass starts shaking, trying to move when asked if there’s anybody there. it goes towards the yes, then spells out its name _S-U-N-H-E-E_. forty-nine years old when she died on a car crash. Mark asks why she’s there and she says _contact_ , which renjun tells them she probably felt them trying to make contact.

sunhee and the other three were really nice spirits, if there’s such a thing as that. mark felt at ease and not freaked out like he did the first time he used an ouija board. the questions weren’t a lot and they were really respectful towards the invitees, and then the last one contacted them.

they spelled his name as _S-U-N-F-L-O-W-E-R_ and didn’t feel like telling them their age, but renjun didn’t give them the chance to freak out since he didn’t feel a heavy presence between them. so they kept asking questions—more like trying, since the ghost wasn’t helping.

“god, that’s a tough one.”

mark sighs, “sunflower. still with us?” the glass leads itself to the yes. renjun silently encourages mark to keep asking questions. “why are you here?” _c-o-n-t-a-c-t._ “how old are you?” _no_. “okay. we won’t ask anymore.”

“we should end this, guys.” renjun says. “it’s getting late.”

“hey sunflower, can we leave?” yes. mark is about to speak again when the glass starts moving, _t-i-r-e-d._ mark smiles softly. “yeah. us too.”

the glass leads them to the goodbye on the board and the light of the candle closer to the board goes out. they take a deep breath and remove their fingers from the pointer, collectively sighing.

“that was… something.”

mark smiles at jeno, “yeah. not so bad.”

“i told you guys! i learnt the right way. i really wanted to try it out with the two of you.”

“why?”

he shrugs, “you’re both crazy enough to agree.”

 

mark and jeno are shocked and outraged at renjun, who can’t stop laughing because of the look in their faces. soon enough the board is tucked inside his backpack and he’s bidding mark goodbye along with jeno. 

 he feels something different in the air once he steps away from the house, turning back to find mark waving at them. he smiles and waves back, but the sensation doesn’t leave him.

 

⋆⋆⋆ 

 

there’s a boy sitting on a bench that’s facing the ocean. said boy and mark are the only ones at the beach and he’s got no idea how the hell he got there. still, he doesn’t feel threatened but rather compelled. like the boy’s energy is drawing him in. like a siren. chills run down his spine when he hears a low humming, it sounds so familiar yet mark is so sure he never heard it before. he keeps waking towards the bench and sits down, staring forward at the waves rocking back and forth with ease. the boy is wearing a black sweatshirt, hoodie hiding his face, but mark isn’t even curious—he just wants him to keep humming the melody.

but it comes to a stop.

a hand goes to his shoulder and mark turns his head, finally facing the boy. 

_beautiful_ , he thinks.

“wake up.”

  

⋆⋆⋆

  

he opens his eyes after feeling as if he’s falling from the bed. sitting down, his hands go through his face and rubs his eyes. there’s a weird feeling settled on him and he notices he’s crying. _why?_ his alarms goes off and he looks for his phone. _8am_.

“shit.”

he promised he’d meet with renjun and jeno around 8:30am but there’s no way that’s going to happen now. he gets up feeling a bit dizzy and rubbing his eyes again, unfocused gaze staring at the corner of his room besides the window, where the light barely meets. he brushes off the voice inside his head saying that the black shadow has the form of a person. _it’s just your mind playing tricks on you because of yesterday._

 

with that in mind, he texts their groupchat and apologizes for being late, especially when it’s a saturday and he’s not supposed to wake up so early in the morning. besides cursing at him, renjun tells them to meet him in an hour. 

**> mark:**

_that’s better_

**> injun:**

_u wanna fucking die?_

**> mark:**

_try me_

**> jeno:**

_can we have a peaceful morning?_

**> mark:**

_no_

**> renjun:**

_what he said_

 he takes his time to shower, that weird feeling coming back to him. what happened yesterday, the dream, how he woke up crying and the feeling of being watched. maybe he should ask renjun about it, tell him everything and seek for the boy’s advices, but it’s also so soon to come up with theories. mark is probably impressed because of yesterday and being alone at home is not helping.

a noise startles him, like a cabinet closing. the one from the sink that he left open? he peeks through the curtains—nothing’s there. of course. _you’re all by yourself, mark._ he repressed the voice in the back of his mind that’s asking _but are you?_ and finishes as fast as possible. he can’t wait to get out of the house.

after changing into new clothes, he goes downstairs and looks for a banana yogurt while singing-along to exo’s new song with his headphones on. at the fridge’s door, there’s a note with johnny’s handwriting.

  _canadian boy, went grocery shopping before going to ten’s. i’ll be back sunday night, hit me up if u need anything. love you~ >~<_

mark leaves the note there like they do with the cute ones to make the fridge look more alive. he rests against the counter and sips the yogurt. narrowing his eyes, he takes the headphones off trying to spot where the muffled sound is coming from. he looks up. _the second floor._

they’re noises of steps like someone’s running but mark knows for a fact that he’s the only one there. he sighs. _just get out of here. go meet your friends. it’s okay._

he does just that, taking the keys on the counter and storming out of the house. 

 

⋆⋆⋆

 

they’ve been out for hours, walking around non-stop until they finally remembered that they needed to eat and stopped on a restaurant. they asked for fries and pizza, because why not? 

 “injunie.”

the boy is going over the menu even though they already asked for a lot and jeno is outside taking a call from his mom. mark can’t stop thinking about what’s happening on his house.

“yes?”

“what if you contact a spirit and they don’t leave your house?” renjun perks at that, looking at him with interest. “j-just curious.”

“well, there are ways of asking them to leave. if they’re not bad ones, i don’t see a problem. those usually leave soon.”

“mmmhm. but how do i know they’re good ones?”

“you’d feel a heavy presence, an uneasiness, just a really bad feeling. you’d know it if you felt.”

“oh. but what if the good ones don’t leave?”

renjun shrugs, “they might be trying to contact you.”

“like yesterday?”

“like that, but sometimes they ask for favors.”

“like the sixth sense.”

“you sound like jeno.” renjun laughs. “what’s gotten into you?”

he surges nonchalantly, “nothing. i’m curious, that’s all.”

renjun keeps staring at him like he does when he knows something you don’t. mark hates that but chooses to ignore so he won’t fall for it. 

  

⋆⋆⋆

  

okay. he’s got it figured out—there’s a ghost in his house. a really annoying one at that. saturday morning he was freaked out but by sunday afternoon mark was just done with the ghost’s shit. said _ghostly creature_ had been playing tricks on him, throwing shit on the floor, opening windows and yada-yada. mark has had enough! but maybe he’s also a bit scared of the ghost because he’s not sure if he’s stable enough to not freak out if mark tells him to leave. 

besides, he’s been having weird dreams lately,, every nap he takes, always on the same beach and with the same boy telling him to wake up. mark hates that he doesn’t feel frightened at all. just slightly irritated.

_johnny is coming home soon,_ he thinks to himself while sitting at the bay window from his room, waiting for the sun to set. it reminds him of his mom and how she loved to sit by the porch of their house back in canada to watch the sun go down.

a thud comes from his closet and mark doesn’t even bother looking at that direction, head touching the glass from the window, unimpressed. 

“ugh, i get it. there’s a scary ghost in my room.” mark rolls his eyes. “can you stop now? you’re losing creativity and i’m losing my patience.”

the room goes quiet. _fucking finally._

that is, until he sees something under the bed. he tries thinking about his options: he could either play dumb like a generic horror movie character and go straight into the trouble or he could ignore and run away.

yeah, he’s kneeling down on the floor and lowering his body, until he’s face to face with—

“ _fuck!”_ his back hits the wood from the bay window after the ghost jumps towards him, and when mark comes back to his sense the boy between his legs, nose-to-nose with him, and looks a lot like—“have i been dreaming about you?”

the boy smiles and puts space between them, crossing his legs while facing mark, a soft smile on his lips. _it’s him, the one you’ve been dreaming about since friday night._

now with a smug smile, the boy crosses his arms, “is that a pick-up line?”

“w-what?”

ghost boy laughs, looking at him with endearment, “god, i sure miss being able to blush like that.”

mark tries his best to ignore his gaze, “shut up. i’m not.”

_he is._

“who are you?”

“ _sunflower_.”

mark’s eyes go wide, “we talked to you! wow.”

“yeah, sorry i stayed. you can tell me to leave.”

_why would he?_

“no. it’s okay. but why did you stay?”

sunflower ghost boy shrugs, “bored.”

“oh.” mark chuckles. “i suppose it must be a bit boring being dead.”

a laugh comes out of sunflower’s mouth and it echoes through mark’s ear. it’s filled with something more, secrets, but he makes a point to keep the sound in his memory.

“yeah. you’re right. i’m a dead boy!”

mark rolls his eyes trying to look annoyed but fails at hiding  how the sides of his mouth are turning upwards. so he laughs.

“okay, _sunflower ghost boy,_ you can stay here as long as you like, just stop trying to scare me off. and my brother who’s coming home soon.”

sunflower boy sticks out his pinky and takes it to his lips, kissing it. “i can’t touch you, so this will do as a pinky promise.” he explains. “promise i can stay here?”

there’s a soft smile on his own lips as he watches the boy. he’s thinking about how cozy this feels, both of them sitting on the ground, like they’re hiding from the world, doing pinky promises. then he’s reminded that the boy in front of him is dead.

he takes his own pinky to his lips, kissing it too.

that night, sunflower ghost boy disappeared as soon as johnny arrived home, and mark was left with the thought of pretty brown eyes and angelic voice.

 

they meet again in his dreams, on that same beach, that voice singing him to sleep.

  

⋆⋆⋆ 

 

it’s been a week since they contacted sunflower, a week filled with visits during random times, ghost boy coming and going whenever he pleases and making mark get used to his presence.

he’s more comfortable when johnny isn’t around or asleep, but sometimes he makes a point to pester mark’s brother by moving things, throwing them on the ground, blowing air on his cheeks and just overall being annoying. 

johnny is just oblivious to all of it.

 

“what day is it today?!”

an overly excited ten walks through the back door, holding three pumpkins.

“uh…. october 24th?”

“so…?” ten looks at him expectantly but mark sure won’t make it easy for him since he’s got no idea what ten is on about. “johnny your brother hurts my heart!”

“c’mon mark.”

johnny is busy making pancakes for them and ten is staring at him, barely blinking, making mark feel anxious. _sorry if i suck, i guess._

sunflower appears at the kitchen’s door, resting against the threshold and looking at mark with eyebrows raised.

“ _halloween, dummy._ ” it’s all he mouths.

realization hits mark. renjun has been talking about it non-stop but mark forgot to connect the dots and realize it was in over a week.

“oh, you mean halloween!”

ten looks at him with a face that says really? and sigh, hiding his face with his hand as if he’s given up. “god, it sure took you long enough.”

“y’all are always talking in english.” ghost boy rolls his eyes and rests against the center counter. “what’s the point of living in korea then?”

mark smiles softly while staring at his cup filled with juice, making a point of not looking at the ghost.

“anyway, it is halloween. how about you call the boys and then we’ll all carve our pumpkins?”

johnny places the pancakes and the syrup, going to sit besides ten, eyes fixated at the plate. ten hits his hand when he tries to take his. “wait a bit, will you?”

“i’m hungry!”

“aren’t we all?” ten deadpans, completely ignoring johnny’s whining ass and turning back to mark. he takes two pancakes from the plate and then give it to mark. “there you go sweetheart.”

mark smiles sweetly at him but it’s filled with sarcasm when he turns to johnny. besides him, ghost boy is giggling.

“yeah, i’ll call them. when?”

“uh… tomorrow? it’s saturday and you’re all home.”

“sounds good.” mark tries saying with his mouth full. “renjun is gonna love it!”

ghost boy sighs, “wish i could come too.”

 

⋆⋆⋆

 

it’s around 1am when mark finishes his assignments and waits for ghost boy to appear. johnny and ten finally passed out after acting like bunnies and forcing mark to wear his headphones, but he’s already used to it.

ghost boy is not.

“dude they’re so loud!”

mark chuckles, turning around in the chair, “yeah. you’ll get used.”

sunflower sits on the bed and crosses his legs while staring at mark with his eyebrows raised.

“mark.”

“yes?”

mark wheels his chair closer to the bed. 

“you know i can’t be here forever, right?”

he shrugs, “i guess… but i just thought you wouldn’t leave so soon.”

“why is that?”

mark gulps, fingertips fiddling with his shorts, heartbeat racing.

“you’ve been here for a whole week now, but you’re always coming and going and i guess i just want you to… _be here for longer._ ”

“it’s not up to me to decide.”

“yeah, i know. i guess what i’m saying is… stay for longer whenever you appear.”

sunflower boy shakes his head softly, almost against his will, at least that’s what mark thinks. there’s a lot of emotions going through the boy’s face.

“it won’t be fair to you.”

“why not?”

“because there will be a day when i no longer will come back. you understand that, right?”

“y-yeah.”

he does. he means it. but he still can’t help the pout that forms on his lips or how sad he feels. he gets up and throws himself on the bed, hiding his face on against his pillow.

“i’m not saying i’m leaving today or tomorrow.” the soothing voice calms him down. “i just don’t want you to get hurt when i do.”

“it’s too late now, sunflower.”

he watches as the soft smile turns into a huge grim and then into giggles, he lays down next to mark and turns his head to look him in the eyes.

“i like the nickname.”

mark is sleepy and sunflower boy looks a lot like a vision. 

“will you stay?”

“yes.” his eyes are closed already, but he knows there’s a smile. “and tomorrow too.”

mark sighs in contentment, “then i’m happy.”

 

sunflower sings him to sleep and finds his way into mark’s dreams again.

 

⋆⋆⋆ 

 

renjun and jeno arrive right on time and something catches mark’s attention.

renjun is holding sunflowers on his hands.

“what is that for?”

he shrugs and gives them to mark, “i dreamed of them and you were there.” they’re both at the kitchen and renjun is close, speaking softly and just to mark’s ears, “someone else was there too, but i’m not sure who it is.”

mark wonders if sunflower boy made his way into renjun’s dreams too. he figures that it might be because renjun is sensitive and easier, but still ghost boy finds a way to contact mark and appear only to him. but why?

“oh.” mark puts them on a jar. “thank you injun. they’re really pretty.”

flower boy is nowhere to be seen and they’re all busy making the house become the embodiment of halloween. johnny baked cookies the night before and ten helped him shape them like spiders, saying they were only training for next week. mark only got the spirit of halloween when he moved to seoul, and now he really enjoys it. mostly because of moments like this, just like christmas—everyone together, enjoying themselves and decorating the house, making the spirit of the holidays come alive.

god, he wishes sunflower was here.

 

⋆⋆⋆

 

they light up the fairy lights, ten found them in two colors—white and orange, ‘ _because that’s how it’s done’_. ten baked even more cookies for them and johnny ordered five boxes of pizza and still thought it wasn’t enough. he was right. then they proceeded to the living room where mattresses were all over the floor. 

they spend the rest of the evening eating pizza and watching horrors movies, from the really trashy slash ones to movies that made them feel like dying cause that would be better than going through it—which, believe them or not, are the best ones.

once everyone is asleep, mark is still awake. in five minutes the clock will hit 2am and hyuck is nowhere to be seen. mark wonders if that feeling inside his chest means he’s missing the boy. and if so, _and he knows it is so,_ he’s fucked. missing a dead boy who can easily vanish into thin air and never go back. it’s not the boy’s fault and neither it’s his. the universe is just fucked up like that sometimes.

carefully, he untangles his legs from jeno’s and gets up, heading for the kitchen where he takes a glass of water. it doesn’t take long until he’s going out through the back door and sitting by the comfy couch. 

“hyung?”

it’s renjun. he slides the door opened and closes it again, settling besides mark, who smiles softly at him.

“you seemed off today.”

“sorry.”

“there’s no reason to apologize, i’m just curious.”

mark shrugs. he’s not sure if he should tell renjun, although he trusts him more than anything and knows he’d be able to help, but it feels like sunflower is supposed to be his secret, even if he’ll suffer alone when he’s gone. 

in the back of his mind, he knows he’ll eventually seek for a shoulder to rely on.

but not yet.

“things are changing.”

“mhmm. i can feel it.”

“really?”

“yeah. you’re different, but that’s not it. there’s something different here.” his hands are all over the place as he indicates the house. “i felt it that night, and it’s stronger now.”

mark knows he’s talking about sunflower. that night they contacted some spirits and ghost boy was one of them, then mark supposes his presence might be all over the house by now, especially for renjun.

“what kind of presence?”

“a calming one. when i walked into your room earlier i could smell… something sweet.” renjun scrunches his nose and chuckles. “it’s a really distinct smell, something fresh like flowers or even fruits… cherries, maybe.”

mark’s eyes widen—could that be sunflower boy? maybe mark should try paying more attention to his senses, perhaps he’d be able to know what renjun is talking about. have a part of sunflower boy that’s not touchable but it’s there, as real as the boy in front of him, who’s always so close but oh so far.

the older boy sighs, “injunie…” he’s at lack of words, voice cracking and thoughts rushing. he takes a deep breath and rubs his eyes until galaxies appears out of darkness. 

renjun’s hand meets his shoulder and he caresses it, an understanding smile playing on his lips, “it’s okay. tell me when you’re ready.”

mark pushes him in for a hug, “thank you.”

⋆⋆⋆

when he goes back to sleep, he dreams of the beach. this time he doesn’t sit on the bench, he walks past it and goes towards the ocean, halting his movements a few meters away from it then sitting on the sand.

he waits for sunflower boy.

“did you have fun today?” ghost boy sits besides him, crossing his long tanned legs. he’s always wearing the same clothes now, black short shorts, a plain white shirt and a pink cardigan. he always looks beautiful. and warm. the sky is grey but the boy is always shining. and mark is… mark is so gone. “mark?”

“i don’t even know your name.”

sunflower can only stare at him, taken aback, but it’s only the truth. mark knows nothing about him, except that he’s dead.

“why… would you want to know?”

he shrugs, unable to look at him, “i just do.”

sunflower sighs and mark steals a glance at him, who’s also staring ahead into the deep ocean. after another sigh, he whispers, “i wish I could tell you, but if i do, i’ll be giving you a part of me that no longer exists.”

he finally turns so he’s facing ghost boy, with pleading eyes filled with many emotions just as the eyes staring back at him, “so what?!”

“mark, i’m dying!” sunflower holds his shoulders tightly and it makes mark shivers, maybe because of the words or maybe because it almost feels real. “i— _fuck_. i’m getting weaker each day, can’t you see?”

“i just want your name!”

“and i won’t give it to you!” his voice is louder but it sounds tired. the boy in front of him is losing hope, mark can see it. his eyes are filled with tears. “i’m gonna miss you. god, i hate that we couldn’t meet before this mess.”

mark is crying too, hands caressing sunflower’s tears. “please, tell me this isn’t goodbye.”

he shakes his head, “not yet.”

he can’t talk because there’s a knot on his throat and he fears that if he starts crying he won’t stop, so he settles for crushing the boy into a hug.

“don’t lose faith, flower boy.”

the boy chuckles lowly but it’s filled with sadness, “i already did.”

shaking his head and smiling softly as his eyes burn, he says, “i have enough faith for the two of us, but it would help if you did too.”

“you need to accept it, mark.”

“don’t speak. _please_.”

there’s a voice in the back of his head saying that he does need to accept it, but he also needs to keep his faith. he doesn’t know what to believe in anymore, so he decides that believing in them is the only thing left to do.

 

the next day when he wakes up, there’s tears running down his face. this time, he lets them fall.

⋆⋆⋆

 

sunflower was right.

he’s getting weaker, translucent.

it’s painful to watch. mark’s heart breaks into a million pieces over and over again, to the point where he’s so sad that he can’t even eat properly, let alone sleep.

johnny thinks he’s depressed, mark wishes he could tell him he’s grieving.

during the course of a week, sunflower appeared more. he didn’t say it, but mark knew it was a silent goodbye. he could see it on the boy’s face, he knew it deep down, and he forced himself to accept it. he failed.

how can you force yourself into accepting someone you care about is gone?

god, that’s so fucked up, isn’t it? they never even met for real. sunflower was a ghost that contacted them one night. mark doesn’t know his real name. but still, nothing is enough to make that hole inside his heart to fix itself. he’s watching the boy he cherishes fade away little by little, and soon enough he will never lay eyes on him again. mark doesn’t mind not being able to touch or have him for real in his arms, he just wants the boy to keep appearing out of the blue, scaring his brother, telling him stories and singing him lullabies. mark fears that he will leave and time will rush past him and then years later he won’t even remember the boy’s face. he wishes he could have a picture, a fragrance, a piece of clothing, _anything_. most of all, he wishes he could have the boy all to himself. 

_god, how many times should i pray for this suffering to end?_

the answer doesn’t come, but he’s happy it doesn’t. because if it did he wouldn’t even hear it. he decides that it’s better to remember it all then to live without knowing the boy. or at least what was left of him; the most pure and vulnerable thing of all— _his soul._

it’s a week filled with late night talks. sunflower tells him what he wanted to be when he grew up, how much he loved to sing, how he never fell in love, how scared he was of leaving his parents and his friends—jaemin, chenle and jisung. he told mark how it was an unfortunate coincidence from the destiny that a car appeared out of nowhere. then he proceeds to tell mark about the time he became friends with chenle when the boy could barely speak korean, like the part where he’s hit by a car never ever happened. because that’s how the boy is—he accepts that he can’t change things even though he wants to, _because somethings are meant to be the way they are_. mark thinks that it’s true, but that some can be changed. well, he supposes not this one, but he’s still holding on to hope, even if a false one.

 

“thank you.” he tells mark one night, both of them lying on the bed and staring the ceiling.

“for what?”

silence.

there are butterflies on his stomach and he allows them. mark had decided to allow himself to feel everything during that week, he needed to.

“i was afraid i wouldn’t get to experience that kind of love you see in movies.”

mark looks over at him, that damn knot forming on his throat again. he takes a deep breath. “thank you too, sunflower boy.”

the boy eyes him with eyes filled of curiosity, “for what?”

he smiles while biting his lips to hold the tears from falling, “everything.”

it’s nothing but a whisper but he knows the boy heard it. 

⋆⋆⋆

 

mark is playing his guitar. there’s a song that’s been on his mind for days now and he can’t help but play it every time. 

it’s halloween and they’re going out soon, johnny made a point of guilt trip mark into joining them. if it was up to him, he’d stay and wait for flower boy. ‘ _you need to go back out there, mark. as if i never existed.’, that’s pure bullshit, flower boy. life as i knew it no longer makes sense._

“ _drink up baby, stay up all night…”_ he sings quietly, knows the lyrics by heart, _“with the things you could do, you won’t but you might.”_

“that’s depressing.”

he looks up, a smile on his lips. “hey you.”

sunflower is leaning against the threshold looking as beautiful as always, even if almost disappearing, “are you dressed as taki tachibana?”

mark nods, “yeah, he’s pretty cool.”

“agreed.” he smiles beautifully. “have a good night, okay? enjoy it.”

“will you be here when i come back?”

“maybe.”

he rolls his eyes, “that’s not an answer.”

“it’s all i can give you.”

sunflower says it with a smile on his lips that doesn’t meet his eyes and mark knows why. he doesn’t want to lie to mark but he also can’t tell him the terrifying truth—he’s running out of time.

 

_“mark! let’s go!”_

“go on.”

mark gets up and stops once he’s close to the boy, standing in front of him with that stupid knot on his throat again.

“you’re the most beautiful person i have ever seen.” mark takes a deep breath. “i just needed you to know that.”

sunflower gulps and nods, a sad smile on his face, bright eyes now looking empty, “dream of me tonight, will you?”

“always.”

“good. now go. go!”

mark is running down the stairs and takes one last look behind him, waving at sunflower with a big smile on his face. the boy waves back with a smile just as big, but mark knew right in that moment that the boy was not coming back.

⋆⋆⋆

 

everyone was happy but he didn’t know how to conceal his feelings. it felt like someone had torn his heart out but he felt numb at the same time. the world was spinning too fast and he was standing there watching it all get out of control without being able to say a single word. he threw up once his feelings got a little too much, maybe a little past eleven? renjun and jeno had to take him to johnny’s car and wait for the older boy. renjun rested his head on his shoulder and jeno kept patting his thigh and mark was only aware of the fucking knot on his throat. johnny carried him to his bed and laid him down carefully while ten got water and a wet towel to put on his forehead for some reason. mark let them. renjun never said a word, neither did the other three boys. they just took care of him.

that night in his dreams, mark was alone on the beach screaming out for sunflower. he never showed up. he kept screaming and crying—that was all he could do.

⋆⋆⋆ 

he woke up crying the next day.

johnny tried talking to him but mark couldn’t even find the strength to get out of bed. he’d get up to shower and have some spoons of soup, but other than that he’d rather be inside his room all by himself.

the second day, more tears come and renjun is there this time, ready to clean them from his face and listen to mark’s words between sobs about how much it hurts and how he’s not sure it’ll ever stop. renjun only holds him tighter. at night, jeno is there to make him eat so johnny won’t freak out—mark can’t even look at his brother’s face.

the third day isn’t different, except mark gets tired of staring at the walls and gets out, meeting a shocked johnny in the living room, around 6am, looking like a mess—not as much as mark himself but from worried sick.

“mark. fuck.” he wraps mark on a tight hug that almost makes it all okay. except it doesn’t and mark can only let go—he starts crying like he did to renjun, like he should during that dream where they hugged or when they waved at each other. he cries for not being able to tell the boy how much he loves him and how he would miss him like crazy. or how he doesn’t regret it, not even a little bit. he cries for what feels like ours and it probably is, because when he stops the day is finally there but johnny is still holding him tight, and somehow between messy confessions and sobs, mark knows johnny believes in him and respects his pain.

“i can’t tell you time heals everything, mark.” he shakes his head, sad. “i think sometimes it only makes things worse…. but you’re doing the right thing by letting yourself feel the pain and go through the grieving stage without repressing your feelings.”

“you don’t think i’m crazy?”

johnny smiles softly, that look of disbelief in his eyes because mark can’t really think that, right? “you’re my brother! i would never judge you, i’m here to support you no matter what.”

mark hugs him again, thankful.

“i love you johnny.”

“i love you too.”

⋆⋆⋆

 

it’s on november 6th the first time he gets out of the house again. his head no longer hurts from crying and he feels like he can breathe again. he still wakes up crying, but somehow that’s what he’s got left from when the boy was there. 

he won’t think about it today.

“hey!” 

renjun and jeno receive him with kisses and hugs, making him feel better already. they had decided to stay away from home the whole day like they always do during the weekends, and mark knew he needed that.

they’re inside their favorite café, avidly taking bites from their food. mark was only able to start eating healthily again two days ago, but he’s already feeling stronger. he watches as both boys talk excitedly while making big gestures and bickering and he notices how much he missed hanging out with them. how much he just wants to confide in them without half-truths.

“do you remember that night?” they stare at him for a few seconds but slowly nodded their heads. “that sunflower boy we contacted…”

“i thought it was a girl…”

“jeno, does it even matter?”

“hey, i’m talking!” he whines, surprised when they actually listen to him and stop talking. “he stayed there.”

jeno’s eyes go wide while renjun doesn’t even look surprised. he probably knows more than mark does.

“he said he was bored and that he liked me…” he blushes slightly, but there’s a smile playing on his lips. “he was gone at halloween.”

“wow.” jeno sounds sad. “that’s why you were like that.”

“yeah… that’s why.”

they fall silent for a moment, mark basking in the memories left for him. the ones locked inside his heart.

“mark, would you like to go the hospital with me?”

the question comes out of the blue. it was asked by renjun who’s staring at him with a look that mark can’t unveil.

“uh… for volunteering work?” renjun nods. “yeah, i guess so.”

renjun helps out on the children’s hospital ever since his younger sister had pneumonia and stayed there. she got out  and he made it his duty to keep visiting the kids who weren’t so lucky.

“let’s finish first.”

mark smiles and nods, not really giving much thought to it. he figures that maybe it’ll be nice to go and talk with the kids, get his mind off things. he needs that.

⋆⋆⋆

 

“dude, i forgot how nice it is here!” jeno whisper while they’re walking around the seconds floor. they had been playing with the younger ones for an hour now, their presence was welcomed with excitement from the little ones, and mark was right. it made him feel better.

he doesn’t know why but that place makes him feel… _close_. to what, he’s got no idea, but it’s almost a touchable feeling. 

”hey guys!” a cute boy waves at renjun and jeno, mark figures they most know him from the hospital, but he doesn’t look like a patient at all. he’s got green-ish hair and white skin, looks younger than the blonde boy standing next to him, who’s also smiling cutely and is very tall. mark narrows his eyes, he thinks they look like people he’s seen before… “i’m chenle!”

_chenle_.

_fuck. could that be…? no, of course not_ …

“hi. i’m mark.”

the boy gives him a knowing smile and the taller one only bows, not giving the chance to introduce himself when a kid hugs his long legs.

“mark, will go to the cafeteria with me?” renjun anos mark out of it ruthlessly. “c’mon.”

he’s also not given the chance to answer, renjun dragging him out of there and taking the stairs instead of the elevator, but he doesn’t even question it. renjun sits him down and says he’s going to get their order so mark just watches him, curious when a pink haired guy appears next to renjun, smiling widely. he’s already got his order in hands and waits for renjun’s, both of them walking in mark’s direction. renjun sits besides him and link haired guy sits on the opposite side of the table, looking at mark with just as much curiosity. there’s a lazy smile on the boy’s lips but his eyes look sad and  he looks tired. mark relates to that.

“i’m jaemin.” the smile widens. “donghyuck’s best friend.”

“ _donghyuck_?” as the name rolls out of his tongue, it finally strikes him and he gasps. “sunflower boy?!”

jaemin chuckles, “damn, is that how he introduced himself?”

mark leans forwards and holds the guy’s hands to get his attention, “but how?!”

a comforting smile is sent his way, one of jaemin’s hands caressing mark’s as renjun caresses his tensed shoulder. “i don’t know. renjun looked for me two days ago and i thought he was crazy but then i connected the dots. it was hyuck trying to reach out to me through someone else since i’m such a skeptic asshole. his words, not mine.”

mark laughs out of surprise and maybe out of contentment because now he’s got a part of hyuck with him. something real. 

he’s so out of words that jaemin decides to keep talking, taking his phone out of his pocket and going through it, then showing him a whole album that seems to be filled with pictures of sunflower boy. _donghyuck_. 

he goes through them as if his mind depended on it, his heart swallowing itself whole as he zooms into the boy’s face, his smile, his cute nose, tanned skin. god, he looks so beautiful and so real. mark feels like crying.

“when did he die?”

when he looks up, jaemin and renjun are exchanging a look and he feels left out. there’s something he doesn’t know and by now he’s afraid to ask. 

jaemin shrugs and looks over at the time on the digital watch hanging on the wall. 6pm. 

“he didn’t.”

it hits mark like a punch in the guts, the words echoing around him and wrapping him up on a blanket of hope. it’s warm inside it.

“w-what?”

“mark,” renjun calls out his name while his hand caresses his back, “he’s in coma.”

“he’s been getting a lot better and the doctor thinks he’ll wake up at any moment. two weeks ago they told us that his chances were low and we should start saying goodbye, but he never gave up. he got better!”

“he’s not even paying attention to us.”

jaemin laughs airily, “mark i think you helped him get back to life. well, he’s still in coma, but he’s better and responding and—fuck, i ain’t gonna cry in front of you.”

mark gets up and looks down at both boys, “can i see him?”

⋆⋆⋆

 

sunflower looks a lot like his mom.

that’s what crossed his mind the minute he met the woman, who welcomed him warmly with a tight hug. she looked tired too, but she had eyes filled with faith, and mark related to that.

she didn’t even think before allowing him to see the boy and it was like he could finally breathe. not yet, but when he finally saw the boy. he was waiting outside the room, not even able to see through the curtains since they were closed, but he could wait a bit longer. he wasn’t thinking, he knew he shouldn’t in that moment or he’d have a break down. he should focus on the moment. 

his hands were shaking and his breath was out of rhythm, his heart beating too fast and too loud and…

the door opens and sunflower’s mom steps out, smiling sweetly at him. “go on sweetheart.”

he takes a step at a time, afraid his knees might fail him, since his lungs forgot to work on its own a long time ago. once he’s inside, he hears the door closing to give him privacy, but he’s not even paying attention, his eyes focused on the boy lying on the hospital bed, connected to a breathing machine.

he sits by the chair besides the bed, eyes glued to the boy’s face as he starts tearing up.

“oh my god…” it comes out muffled and he holds the boy’s hand with all his might, only crying harder when he notices how warm and real it feels. like coming back home. “god. fuck. i missed you so much… i prayed so much for this moment and i hates myself for not believing in it enough, for almost losing faith in us… _fuck_.”

he lays his head on his arm and inhales, a thought crossing his mind. _renjun was right. fresh cherries._

“i don’t know if you’re listening to me.” mark says after ten minutes of laying down on his arm, tears finally dry. “you probably is, though. you’re you, right? you always find a way… can you believe i’m talking as if we’ve known each other our whole lives? it’s crazy to think we didn’t.” he smiles softly and caresses the boy’s cheek while still holding on this his hand. “that’s why you need to wake up. so we can spend the rest of our lives together.”

he laughs because he sounds pathetic and in the back of his mind donghyuck is making fun of him for being so cheesy.

“but i can wait until you’re ready. i waited my whole life to meet you and for a few horrible days i was willing to wait my whole life to meet you again. so take your time, but you need to know that the faster you wake up, the more we can be together.”

_i’ll still be here if it takes too long._

“i have to go, but i’ll be back tomorrow, okay?” he kisses the back of his hand a few times. “you’re not getting rid of me, i know your name, your friends and your mom now.”

he kisses his hand one more time and gets up, leaning down to leave a kiss on the boy’s forehead and then on his cheek. the last one takes more time and it’s carried with too many emotions. relief and love the strongest ones.

⋆⋆⋆

 

the next day he goes back with a bouquet of sunflowers and hyuck’s mother smiles brightly while telling him the news that hyuck squeezed her hand. that’s when mark meets sunflower’s father too, a really sweet man. hyuck’s friends make him company and they get closer really fast, jaemin sending him pictures of donghyuck in return of jeno’s phone number.

he makes a point of always taking a sunflower with him whenever he visits and hyuck’s mom finds it adorable. “it makes the room look as bright as him!”

it’s the third day visiting and he sits by hyuck’s side and talks to him. the doctor said it’s a good thing to do, and it seems to be working. so whenever they're there, they make a point to always include him in the conversation. the only thing that matters to mark is that hyuck’s hand is warm and soft.

“i was showing johnny some pictures of you today. really, he says he’s getting tired of listening to me blabbering about you all the time!” mark scoffs, caressing hyuck’s hand and wrist. fingers running up and down lazily. “i told mom and dad about you too, they’re all the way in canada. we should go there sometime, just the two of us. they have this really nice cabin close to the woods, it’s really nice there. there’s a really beautiful lake. you’d like it.”

he squeezes hyuck’s hand and leaves a chaste kiss on it. he squeezes and kisses it again, he loves doing it. 

that’s when he feels it—a light squeeze.

he gasps and laughs breathily.

“hey! hey, you’re listening to me, i knew it!” mark kisses his hand again, the grin on his face growing and he tears up. “shit, you’re such an asshole. you’re gonna give me a heart attack one day.”

hyuck only squeezes back, making mark laugh stupidly.

⋆⋆⋆

 

“it’s november 13th today. it’s a friday. looks like we have a thing with the supernatural right?” mark chuckles, caressing the palm of hyuck’s hand and his wrist like he always does. he figured it’s his silent way of telling hyuck _it’s okay, i’m here now_ and to remind himself that he’s real, he’s here. “i need to go home earlier, johnny wants to watch horror movies, seems like he’s still stuck in halloween. i can’t wait for christmas… god, we’re complete opposites.”

mark gets up and leaves kisses on the boy’s forehead and cheek, promising to come back tomorrow morning like he always does.

 

“johnny, i’m home!”

“thank fuck! i was about to start the movie by myself.”

“yeah, yeah.” mark throws himself on the couch. “i spent some time talking with the boys and then went to say goodbye to hyuck.”

“how is he?”

“he’s good. getting better. he’s supposed to wake up any minute now. he can squeeze our hands, tap a finger, and his pupils are reacting to light. he’s completely out of the woods.”

“wow, it’s so good to hear that! can’t wait to meet him.”

mark giggles, “me neither.”

 

it’s 3am when he receives the first call, jolting him to reality. he notices someone tried calling him three times already.

hyuck’s mom.

sleep immediately leaves him as he desperately dials back, his heart pounding against his chest.

“ _mark! thank god!”_ miss lee sobs on the other side of the line. “ _come to the hospital. fast.”_

he thinks of the worst when he gets out of bed, phone on the ground of his room, running towards johnny’s room and frantically jolting him awake. his brother didn’t even gave him a chance to explain before getting out of bed and forcing mark into grabbing a coat and brushing his teeth.

mark swears johnny will probably receive one or two tickets because of how fast he was driving but he couldn’t care less. all his thoughts summed up to one: _donghyuck_. and miss lee’s sobs. the emotion on her voice. that feeling he felt once he got off the phone.

was he losing faith or gaining it back?

no, he had faith. in donghyuck. _in them._

what he was lacking of was hope. it had left him the moment he realized he needed to accept sunflower ghost boy would vanish and never come back again.

but now there it was again, blooming inside his heart.

 

“miss lee!”

mark is lost, he’s scared and with his heart on his throat, everything spinning around him and he just feels like screaming. he doesn’t. he lets the mother smother him on a tight hug and cry her heart out. he’s not sure why though. his hope is on his sleeve, ready to slip and fade. but then she’s laughing and sobbing and he’s there, with eyes filled with tears and his heart breaking all over again only to mend itself together.

“he’s asking for you, sweetheart.”

his breath gets caught on his throat and the world finally stops spinning, yet he’s just as dizzy now. he steps away from the hug and searches her delicate face with his eyes; miss lee still looks tired and her eyes are still filled with faith and something more. _relief_. like being set free. like her son beat the odds and survived, not being part of the percentage that doesn’t. 

_that’s it then?_ mark thinks to himself as she steps away when mr. lee comes out of the room with eyes filled with tears and a smile on his lips. is this the part i’ve been praying about?

he thinks about the first time sunflower contacted him after they used the ouija board. the middle of the night talks about birth, death and what’s between both—that brief and vulnerable moment we refer to as “life”. or the times they would laugh about stupid things that only made sense to them and sometimes not even that, and that’s what made it funny. the times mark felt his heart skip a beat while looking at the boy. the dreams that became their safe haven. the moment mark knew it was a goodbye. the moment hyuck disappeared and mark got lost in translation. 

meeting jaemin. walking into room 106 for the first time. holding his warm hand. being able to smell the fresh cherries scent.

slowly, he begins to open the door as he heart skips too many beats. he walks in and closes it, looking at the ground. he takes a deep breath and then another one. and then he looks up.

_wow_. 

there’s a huge smile on hyuck’s face as he stares mark. the older boy finds himself running towards those open arms and then their chests collide with force, but they don’t care. mark feels his hope come back to life as hyuck’s arms wrap around him, keeping him safe from everything. he sits on the bed while still hugging the younger and rests his head on the shoulder that’s right there—he inhales the scent. hyuck’s mother made sure to spray it on him so they wouldn’t forget it, and mark is thankful. 

his eyes are closed tight. hyuck’s hands are grabbing the back of his shirt with all their might, like mark would vanish any moment. _the irony in that…_ mark chuckles to himself, a little choked up, but he doesn’t mind. they’re no longer tears of pain. they’re the tears of someone who had been drowning but finally managed to go back to the surface after a long time underwater. 

hyuck is his first breath after drowning for so long.

he’s mark’s first breeze of fresh air.

like all the things mark convinced himself he would never have since hyuck wasn’t there. 

they don’t speak at all that night. they lay down on the bed and fall asleep like they’re not on a hospital and hyuck didn’t just wake up from a come. they sleep with their breaths mixing together and holding each other close. really close. the way hyuck cleans his tears is real, just like the way he kisses mark’s forehead.

they don’t need to speak.

they don’t need anything. 

⋆⋆⋆

  

hyuck wakes up to a post-it note stick to his pillow.

_sunflower boy,_

_sorry i’m not there when you wake up,_

_but i felt like giving you time to be with_

_your friends! they’re really cool kids! ＾＾_

_i’ll be back later, so please rest!_

_mark ♡_

_(ps, here’s my number: xx-xxx-xxx)_

 

hyuck giggles like a school girl, even wiggling his legs in excitement but stopping from the ache. ouch. there’s a glass of water in the stand besides him so he reaches for it carefully.

_fuck, that feels so good…_

he takes a deep breath after downing all the liquid, his chin wet from the water that spilled, and he feels like a baby. he tries thinking back to what happened yesterday. how he suddenly felt the urge to open his eyes as if someone was calling him. how everything hurt even more than it does now, how thirsty he was. he remembers his mother crying and his dad hugging tighter than he ever did before and how relieved he felt from seeing how relieved they were. he remembers the doctor coming in and everything calming down even though he knew his mother was probably crying outside the room. then he remembers asking for mark. when he came back to it, he didn’t really thought about the boy, mostly because he couldn’t remember. he still can’t, not completely. he assumes his memories will come back to him eventually and he’s thankful he didn’t forget it in the first place. just the thought of not being able to remember the older boy scares him to death. 

_literally_.

a thought crosses his mind as soon as he spots his mother’s phone. he almost falls off the bed but it’s able to take hold of it and then starts going through the messages. 

there’s a chat with the three boys and he smiles as he goes through it. they’re basically updates about how he’s doing, but he ignores the earlier texts where they feared for the worst.

he opens the camera and takes a selfie while lying down on the hospital bed and doing a peace sign. he sends it to them.

**> lee dawon**

_[1 pic attached]_

_i lived bitches_

he doesn’t have time to check the answer because a doctor enters the room, smiling at him, looking really happy to see hyuck awake.

“mister lee!” hyuck scrunches his nose, “sorry! donghyuck!”

hyuck smiles, “that’s better, doc.” he stretches his arms and wiggles his toes. “the word is on the streets that i beat the odds.”

“yes, you did.” doctor kim smiles endeared as he sits on the bed, tilting his head to look at hyuck. “there was a moment where we lost all our hopes and i’m sad to think i gave up on you.”

“it’s okay, really. i understand. i felt like i was dying too.”

“what do you think made you come back?”

hyuck has an idea, but he wonders if the doctor really wants to hear spiritual things about souls meeting, the cosmos and the unknown world in between.

“you wouldn’t believe me if i told you.”

doctor kim nods, giving him a tight smile that says a lot. with a shrug, “try me.”

he met mark. he heard the calling and it was like there was a mystic force or mystic being pulling him towards mark’s house. he was summoned but not by the ouija board. perhaps by the red string connected to their souls, pulling towards each other so they could meet.

“it was like… my soul was seeking for something and i couldn’t find it, but then i did. and it felt like i couldn’t let go of that—so i didn’t.”

doctor kim nods and looks like he’s really paying attention and thinking about it.

“you just gave me food for thought today, donghyuck.”

hyuck smiles slyly, “you’re welcome, doc.”

⋆⋆⋆

 

chenle and jaemin went into his room screaming like crazy, completely ignoring the doctor and the nurses in there. they threw themselves into hyuck’s arms, smothering him with so much love that it made hyuck feel bad for the dumb text he sent them earlier, but they didn’t look like they cared about the way the news got delivered.

they spent hours telling hyuck about everything that happened while he was in coma; how it was the longest month ever, how chenle told his mom they couldn’t go visit their family in china until hyuck woke up, how jaemin went from an skeptical asshole to a somewhat-a-believer-or-a-curious asshole. then they tell him about renjun looking for jaemin and how it took the boy a whole day to realize that his dreams meant something and cute weird boy wasn’t actually out of his mind. then he tells him about the day he went after renjun and met jeno, who he _definitely_ doesn’t have a crush on, and then about the day they all met mark. that was also the day mark saw him for the first time.

_mark_. they all seem so endeared by the boy, and honestly, hyuck understands why but he still haven’t got the chance to talk to him. they didn’t need words in the middle of the night, feeling each other’s warmth was more than enough. he longed for mark for so long, he feared he’d never be able to see him again. to touch him. he remembers asking the universe how it could be so kind to let him know mark but so ruthless to only let it happen when he was dying. and he also remembers the utter fear and desperation he felt when he faded away during halloween night. how could he leave before telling mark everything he felt? how could he leave and break the promise of meeting mark in his dreams? he tears up just thinking about it.

the second time he sees mark, he’s not waiting for it. he had just gotten out of the shower, happy he was finally able to do it, and mark was casually sitting right there besides the bed, like he always does; and hyuck is a mess, water dripping from his hair, face filled with redness from the hot shower and wearing pajamas that look a lot like they’re from a child.

he coughs to get the attention of the older boy, who’s busy with—“wow, is that your guitar?!”

mark smirks, “it’s certainly not my piano.”

hyuck feels himself blushing—how could he be this dumb? honestly, mark’s bad for him. shit. he keeps brushing the tower against his hair as mark watches him with lazy eyes and starts playing the guitar. hyuck feels shy under mark’s gaze, it’s so different from before, he feels vulnerable and wanted. things he couldn’t and wouldn’t allow himself to feel before. 

now it’s different. _now it’s real._

(and maybe it’s also scary.)

he sits down on the couch and pats the empty place and mark follows, turning his body slightly so they’re facing each other. they stay like that for a while, only the lights from the lamps turned on, and they’re both just soaking into the moment they hoped for so long.

“sing to me.”

mark smiles shyly, eyes falling to the guitar as keeps playing, a melody hyuck recognizes filling the room. mark never sang it to him, only playing it like it meant nothing but now hyuck thinks it actually meant a lot.

_“i’m building this house on the moon like a lost astronaut. looking at you like a star, from a place the world forgot.”_ the smile is still on his lips, but it’s now filled with confidence as his eyes shine with love, care and many feelings hyuck swore he’d never receive. _“and there’s nothing that i can do expect bury my love for you.”_

hyuck knows what the lyrics means for them and everything they went through. it’s like mark’s way of saying he was okay with waiting for donghyuck no matter how long it took. he was okay with waiting for him, but it doesn’t mean he wasn’t in pain or that it wasn’t hard on him, hyuck can see it was. 

_“the brightness of the sun will give me just enough to bury my love in the moon dust. i long to hear your voice but still i make the choice to bury my love in the moon dust.”_

mark cried so much on his arms the past night, sobbing and trembling and clinging to him with all his might, and hyuck knows why. hyuck clung to him just as much, because he felt all of that too—unable to do anything but accept whatever was to come, hoping to meet mark and everyone he loves one day.

_“i’m living far away on the face of the moon, i’ve buried my love to give the world to you.”_

mark stops but keeps looking at the guitar, too embarrassed for some reason, and hyuck wonders if it’s because the song spoke too much. he takes the guitar from mark and places it on the floor, getting closer to mark and pecking his cheek. then, he wraps his arms around the older’s shoulders and glued their bodies as much as possible.

sighing and smiling, he says, “i’m so glad i’m alive.”

⋆⋆⋆

 

after that day it’s hard for them to find time to be alone and talk about everything they went through together, but they’re in no rush and hyuck’s recovery is the most important.

 

hyuck is discharged five days after he wakes up, his friends are all there waiting for him at the lobby, and he feels all kinds of emotions, especially that feeling of being loved and gratitude—for being alive, for being given a second chance, for the universe. 

that day they all went to his house and had a sleepover, everything felt like the accident never happened and mark was always with them, along with jeno and renjun. the older boy never left his side, always finding a way to touch him even if just by holding the end of his sweater, not the hyuck would complain since being able to touch and feel was everything he wanted, and no, he won’t ever get tired of saying it.

 

a month passes and he asks mark to go with him to buy christmas gifts, hyuck thought about giving doctor kim and the three nurses who took care of him something nice so they’d know how thankful he is for their hard work. he also wants to buy something for his friends and parents, nothing expensive but from his heart—he’s just not sure what yet. mark was happy to accompany him, never telling him _no_ ever since he got out of the hospital, and hyuck can’t deny that he enjoys it a little too much.

“can’t believe it’s already december.” hyuck mumbles and pouts while mark goes through the menu. “can’t believe i missed halloween. you looked so cute dressed as taki, it’s not fair.”

he likes the blush on mark’s face more then he would like to admit, unable to hide his grin as the older fiddles with his glasses, “uh… there’s always next year.”

“you’re planning on sticking around till next year?”

mark looks at him wide-eyed and it’s really endearing. hyuck had thought about it before, having mark with him as long as the older wanted to be there, but he just didn’t expect mark to say it out loud.

“yes?” now he’s fiddling with his own fingers, unable to look at hyuck’s eyes, “is that a bad thing?”

hyuck chuckles while shaking his head, hand seeking for mark’s to keep them still and caress it, “not at all, silly. that’s what i want too.”

mark takes a deep breath, relieved after hearing the words, and then nods slowly while his mind goes _cool, cool, cool._ he still can’t look at hyuck though, well aware of the stupid smile on his face.

“you know, we never talked about what happened to us.”

“what happened to us?”

mark whines, “hyuck.”

with that huge smile on his face that makes mark’s heart throb, he shrugs, “what’s to talk about? fate brought us together and i was given a second chance because there’s no point if our souls aren’t together.”

“is that what you believe in?”

“it is. i have it all figured out inside my mind and i want to talk about it with you every night, every chance i get, over and over again because we have all the time in the world.”

mark smiles dumbfoundedly, a breathy laughter leaving his mouth, “you’re something else.”

“no,” his grim widens and mark already regrets it, “i’m your _booo_.”

mark admits to himself right there that he’s completely amazed by sunflower boy, completely wrapped around his finger, and perhaps in love.

(but he knew that all along.)

⋆⋆⋆

 

mark finds out that if touching hyuck felt surreal then kissing him was cosmic. like being thrown in outer space and touching the constellations, the feeling of going back home, the warmth of the sun against your skin, a warm cup of chocolate during cold days. he was addicted. 

hyuck kept his promise about telling mark his thoughts of the universe, the spiritual world, the witches from salem, how aliens are real and too occupied with the universe to annihilate the human race and how they’re both a lot like mulder and scully. he tells him about the earth, the unknown, the imaginary. about his childhood, his teenagehood and the moment before the crash where everything seemed safe and like the world had stopped spinning and all he could hear was his heartbeat. he tells mark he wasn’t afraid of the darkness that followed but felt terrified when he heard his parents screaming and crying. donghyuck tells him he knew there was something between him and mark and that’s why he stayed, but he didn’t know how to approach him and decided that playing tricks would be a nice idea. he tells him all that and much more between whispers and giggles—sometimes letting his lisp slip, which makes mark smile and kiss his skin tenderly—, and between snuggles when it’s three am in the morning and they have all the time in the world.

when halloween comes again, they are hopelessly in love. hyuck will always make a point to say something mind blowing and mark won’t hesitate to kiss him stupid. hyuck is pretty sure mark won’t ever stop giving him sunflowers and he doesn’t mind at well. on their second anniversary, the older has the crazy idea of getting matching tattoos, and they both get a moon on the side of their wrists. hyuck tells him there’s not going back from that one and mark simply shrugs, saying those those little words that make him weak on the knees from the inside, but roll his eyes on the outside. 

“you’re my boo.”

⋆⋆⋆

  

**Author's Note:**

> | [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/dearfdream) |  
> i wrote this in less than a week and it was really fun and cute to write about. hope you guys enjoy it! **_HAPPY HALLOWEEN!_**


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